Email Spam Poetry

Perhaps email spammers were inspired by SatireWire‘s Annual Poetry Spam Contest, and have adopted more “creative” tactics for evading spam filters. So far this morning I’ve received 3 emails containing random prose.

They’re HTML formatted messages with references to images on domains that don’t currently resolve, so I don’t get to see what they’re selling. Links on the images pass my email address in a GET request to those servers so they can either verify it’s real, or just display more advertising. It’s just another automated system emailing thousands of addresses with randomized sentences, only to deliver those linked images, hoping to lure a tiny fraction of the receivers.

1:58 AM

What is the answer? It was time… I can never describe the walk back to my truck. What is the answer?

I’d thought it was sad to hate the forest the way she’d done. I don’t know how he found that place. He extended his hand by way of introduction. This was a place without the internet, without email, without the rush of business meetings and untapped desires.

Why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? (I’d seen something really weird. :) What are we going to do tonight? I asked. I’d walk down to the stream, look around, and take a deep breath.

I’m evil. I didn’t have to say: can we change the meeting from 6 to 11? My kids have a music recital and I dont want to miss it for the world. Don’t do that, the cat pointed out. My job was to apply the formula. I was just thinking.

3:28 AM

He wanted to know more. I’ll tell you what happened next. It was time… That could well be the answer.

(I’d seen something really weird. :) Are there a lot of these types of accidents? I’d walk down to the stream, look around, and take a deep breath. Can you tell me the answer? she asked.

Just tell me your answer, even if it sucks. There were many examples of animals all around. It was time… What are we going to do tonight? I asked.

A house full of condiments and no food. The continuation of our species matters more than you can imagine. It is the single most important thing we can do. This was a place without the internet, without email, without the rush of business meetings and untapped desires. Hi, I said to all the animals. Love, and hate, are powerful emotions.

5:34 AM

Suddenly, he disappeared. Love, and hate, are powerful emotions. There were many examples of animals all around. But under the circumstances, I’d do it again.

And someone was waiting for me, just around the corner. I’d thought it was sad to hate the forest the way she’d done. I want you to hit me as hard as you can. I’m cold, you said, staring at the continuation we had to feel through yesterday.

(I’m loving the way you walk with me so quietly, contentedly.) This was a place without the internet, without email, without the rush of business meetings and untapped desires. We’re going to regret this, my friend said. Thick walls are important.

This is what I like, I’d tell myself. Suddenly, he disappeared. I’d seen many of the same things I’ve seen before. (Things were looking worse.) He wanted to know more.

It’s a cute ploy, and as much as I hate spam, I like the unrequested prose. It was a pretty funny start to the morning.

2 thoughts on “Email Spam Poetry

  1. God damn spammers are getting nearly impossible to filter. My e-mail address fell into the hands of a spammer whose messgaes consist of two lines of random prose sandwiching a brief advertisement in the following format:

    [Adjective] [computer-generated misspelling of Viagra] http://[randomized but valid domain name]

    As far as text-based filtering goes, none of the headers contains a single string that could be used to get all of them (Received: headers are so various as to indicate that a virus is being used to transmit the spam), and the prose is unique to each mailing, and the adjective, misspelling of Viagra, and the URL are always different. The domain name consists of apparently random, Sanskrit-sounding syllables. Misspellings for “pharmaceuticals” have been substituted for Viagra.

    The only way to filter the message out is to pipe the e-mail through a program that can resolve the URL and match the IP address from a list. While there are hundreds of domain names, they resolve to fewer than 10 IP addresses. Let’s see this cocksucker get through to me now.

  2. God damn spammers are getting nearly impossible to filter. My e-mail address fell into the hands of a spammer whose messgaes consist of two lines of random prose sandwiching a brief advertisement in the following format:

    [Adjective] [computer-generated misspelling of Viagra] http://[randomized but valid domain name]

    As far as text-based filtering goes, none of the headers contains a single string that could be used to get all of them (Received: headers are so various as to indicate that a virus is being used to transmit the spam), and the prose is unique to each mailing, and the adjective, misspelling of Viagra, and the URL are always different. The domain name consists of apparently random, Sanskrit-sounding syllables. Misspellings for “pharmaceuticals” have been substituted for Viagra.

    The only way to filter the message out is to pipe the e-mail through a program that can resolve the URL and match the IP address from a list. While there are hundreds of domain names, they resolve to fewer than 10 IP addresses. Let’s see this cocksucker get through to me now.

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