It was only a matter of time.

1. Nintendo releases an innovative console with motion-sensing controllers
2. console sales quickly reach more than 400,000 in Japan, 600,000 in the US, continually selling-out shortly after stores open, successfully establishing success
3. a few people online claim stories of controller straps breaking, flying remotes, and broken items on impact
4. web-sites appear devoted to humorously highlighting Wii player mishaps, capitalizing on buzz, hoping to catch visitors and ad revenue
5. “news” stories report on hyped incidents, increasing popular media coverage
6. Nintendo reminds Wii owners of the safety precautions they provide with each console, game, and controller to protect themselves from lawsuit-happy idiots
7. consumers declare the devices unsafe and defective, demand reparations
8. Nintendo considerately responds to public concern, offers free strap replacement in retail stores and online
9. class action by idiots ensues
10. class action stirs Nintendo defenders at kotaku and slashdot

There’s nothing particularly surprising in this series of events. As a happy owner of a Wii and four remotes, I can only identify a few reasons you might have explaining why you can’t be trusted with this toy.

• You deem the wrist-strap too uncool for your Wii Sports: Bowling stance, and skip it before hurling the ball down the lane. But your hands are covered in Dorito-grease, and you’ve been drinking (like you do), and you release that ball with just the right about of spin, curving it in for a strike. But it’s still not a bowling ball, and you’re still in your dorm-room, now quiet with a remote through your TV.
• Wii Sports: Golf so realistically replicates your golf course experience, you can’t help continuing your bad habits in front of the video-game. Like slightly twisting left on your swing. Or consistently over-shooting the green. Or chipping into the water-hazard and throwing your club after it. But that wasn’t your club.
• I got nuthin’ else … Just don’t let go of the damn controller, and don’t make up stupid excuses if you do without wearing that strap.